


among the stars

by allsovacant



Series: something to cry on [9]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Airspace tragedy, Angst, M/M, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allsovacant/pseuds/allsovacant
Summary: And that on this field, under the starry skies of Alaska, they were united, as they exchanged their vows. They will be forever with each other. . .





	among the stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elldotsee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elldotsee/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Hundred Crimson Sols](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151099) by [elldotsee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elldotsee/pseuds/elldotsee). 



> DISCLAIMER: This work borrows ONLY the johnlock Space AU characters and doesn't coincide with the timeline of 'A Hundred Crimson Sols' that elldotsee created. In short, this is an AU within an AU. Any place, other character names or situation that would be found on this work are all products of my lame imagination. 
> 
> —Beta'ed by the great elldotsee herself! Can you believe that??
> 
> Any more bloody mistakes are mine—for the sake of mistakes.

_July 19. 2048_  
Launch time: 9:50AM PST  
Hoover Space Center  
Mission Control Center  
Minerva (4) Launch Day 

**_[T-MINUS-ONE MINUTE]_ **

John eyed the counting sequence anxiously from the big screen in front of him while sparing glances at the four smaller ones in its upper corner. Live camera footage of the crew inside the space shuttle _Minerva_ are being broadcasted and recorded. This is the fourth installment following the three successful IMMC flight missions where he and Will met thirteen years ago. And because it was a success, future researches has been planned. This time, it was the United Space Federation who requested and funded the IMMC on another Mars mission for further exploration of the deepest parts of the planet. The scientists will be measuring deep voids, rocky cliffs, swirling sand dunes and how these could be turned into something less harmful for Martian colonization.

When Will appeared on his screen, John’s heart skipped a beat. Damn. Will’s effect on him is still as fresh as the day that they had first met thirteen years ago. _Thirteen years ago, huh? That long already..._ It felt like it just happened yesterday. And they had been married for… _eleven_ of it. 

How nostalgic that the memories of their journey to marriage suddenly flashed before him as Will looked up at the camera after prepping himself on his chair, and giving John a warm smile, eyes filled with affection. The proposal under the starry skies of an open field in Alaska, where John had rented a secluded place, flooded his thoughts. John remembered how the tears had flowed from Will’s eyes endlessly as he said yes to him. And that wondrous sex that happened afterwards. With only the crew of _Percival_ as guests and witnesses, an authorized person to read their ceremonial rites, and a pair of silver rings, they were wed in the exact spot a few months later. John had wanted a space-themed wedding at the time, but it had been perfect just the way it was. 

Although they’d never had a proper honeymoon; he’d attended a seminar for the medical and health division a few days later, and Will had flown to Japan to attend a United Space Exploration conference, the honeymoon, of course, happened—almost every night, whenever they had a leave from work and were temporarily relieved from the responsibilities of exploring the universe.

John mouthed **_Seatbelt alright?_** to the screen and chuckled as Will rolled his eyes into his head while checking his seatbelt one last time. Although there were other crew members who ensured the safety of the astronauts inside, John insisted on checking everything twice. Confident his seatbelt was secured, Will looked up then, fixing him with a loving gaze and mouthed _**I love you.**_ John couldn’t help but affectionately smile. He put a hand over his heart, tipping down his head down lightly, still keeping Will’s gaze and mouthed back **_I love you, always._** He’d never get tired of loving this man. No matter where they were—on Earth, in space. Light years be damned.

They were still locked on each other’s gaze when the inhabitants of the panel room cleared their throats. John turned to his co-workers with his cheeks blushing lightly and an apologetic smile. He could feel Will in the background, shoulders shaking with laughter—as the counting sequence rolled down to the final five seconds. He walked back to his chair, prepping himself to work, unaware of the screen flashing, twice to black, before returning to normal again.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**_[F I V E]_ **

John flicked the switch on for his husband’s channel. He cleared his throat, smiling already.  
“Please tell me I’m talking right now to my one and only, sexy and gorgeous William Holmes-Watson.” John murmured over his mouthpiece. God, he missed him already.  
He chuckled as Will sighed dramatically over his earpiece, _“Oh my god, please—”_

**_[F O U R]_ **

John bit his lower lip as he looked up to the screen in time to catch Will rolling his eyes. He couldn’t help but laugh. He knew he shouldn’t be like this at all at work but somehow his superiors and everyone in the panel didn’t mind because when the actual work starts, their responsibilities as men of space always came first. But for now, he’ll try his best to calm his husband who’s having occasional space sickness and also to make sure that the rest of the crew are in good health.

Some of the people in the room stood and waited patiently while some were still seated, continuing their work—tapping on their keyboards, whispering on their coms, checking stats on their screens and twisting dials as the last three seconds counted off.

**_[T H R E E]_ **

_“Are you really going to keep doing that?”_ Will asked in a serious voice.  
John gestured his hands up, palm out, in surrender. “Right, right. I’ll stop. I just wanted to make sure you’re fine, love.”

**_[T W O]_ **

_“Well, dear husband, good news—I haven’t thrown up anything for the last five years”_ Will said blandly.  
John sighed, his husband’s becoming insufferable again before take-off.

**_[O N E]_ **

John grinned. “Yea? That’s because of me right? I’m so good at talking you down.” He said, dismissing Will’s attitude attack.  
Will groaned audibly into his earpiece. _“Stop praising yourself too much.”_

John shook his head. “That attitude of yours, remind me why I fell in love with you again?” He said, teasing his husband.

 _“Because you loved my arse—“_ Will answered in all seriousness making John bark a heartfelt laugh for the first time in twenty four hours.

**_Twenty-four hours earlier…_ **

_“You’re mad, utterly mad.” John said, trying to control his anger. He threw his mailman’s bag on their couch, narrowly missing the vase they had bought from a visit abroad._

_Will threw him a passing glance and went back to packing his essentials inside his small suitcase to be carried on his space mission. In the next twenty-four hours, John’s brilliant but quite STILL insensitive idiot of a husband was going to be on his way to Mars again with a new crew for a so-called Project Minerva and John had just found out (hence the argument)._

_John looked down at his feet and huffed a breath. “If Greg hadn’t called me, I wouldn’t KNOW—and I would still be UP THERE in Canada—in a DAMNED conference—while you lift your ass off from Earth to God knows which part of Mars—“John paused, breathing heavily from his nose._

_“Will—?” He gritted his teeth. “Do you—? Did you even plan on telling me?” He asked._

_Will slowly let go of the grey shirt he was holding and walked to John._

_“I’m…” Will started. “I apologise John. I know my actions are a bit of a rush. But Mr. Hennesy, USF’s secretary contacted me personally, indicating that the higher council said they knew I was the only one for the job. He consulted me about thi—”_

_“You’re a bloody chemist!” John insisted cutting Will off._

_“Exactly!” Will screamed impatiently._

_“I was the only one capable of doing the assigned job, John. And we both know even after three successful missions—Myc insists there are still a lot to observe, to do, to learn. And we, US, isn't it our job? Our responsibility to help provide—“_

_John lifted a hand to Will’s mouth, cutting off his husband’s monologue, and looked him square in the eye, searching those orbs of verdigris. His deep ocean blue eyes bored intently into those pale grey and green. John needed Will to know. He needed him to know that on every flight that he’s not with him it kills him slowly. That it’s like going into the war—being a soldier. One foot on the ground, one foot serving the motherland. And although it has been decades since the last failed mission, the fear never hides too far in the dark._

_John felt Will's fingers threading over his. Then his husband took their entwined fingers, kissing them softly. John leaned forward, resting his forehead to Will's shoulder._

_“I know, John.” Will whispered. John tilted his head to see Will. He stared at him then, even if his eyes felt heavy, not breaking eye contact. “I know.” And with that John broke down into a silent sob, pulling Will into his arms, cradling the taller man’s head of curly messed hair with his hand. He cried shamelessly on Will’s shoulder. Will allowed him to cry for a few minutes before he was guided to their bed. Once they were both lying down, John let out the breath he’d been holding._

_“I love you so much.” John whispered above his husband’s head, his chin softly cushioned by Will’s hair._

_He felt Will’s smile against the soft skin of his neck. “And I, you—John. Always.”_

_A gap of silence stretched before John said, “I love you so much it hurts.”_

_“Are you going to stop?” Will asked quietly._

_John had never once questioned his love for Will, even though Will could sometimes be a handful. He tried to search for any reason but couldn’t find one._

_“No.” John said before adding, “I’d rather die.”_

_Will shifted, looked up at him and said something that left him speechless, “Even if I die, I’ll never stop loving you. Always. I’d love you to the stars and back.”_

_And because John felt so overwhelmed, he just kissed Will’s lips softly and tenderly. He kissed his eyelids, the tip of his nose, his cheeks—hoping that his kisses and the promise of tomorrow with each other would be enough to let his husband know how much he loves him. And when Will kissed him back with such passion, he knew the answer. The argument ended in bed, and their much needed sleep. When John woke up in the morning. Will was gone with a note that he’d gone off first to the launch center._

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

John was pulled from his thoughts by a nudge on his shoulder. It was Grissom, their Telco head, pointing his chin at the huge screen in front of them just in time to see the rocket boosters flare.

**_[LIFT OFF!]_ **

The room erupted with applause after the rocket successfully zoomed up off the ground.

_Syd: “And the goddess is flying!”_  
Zimsky: “To the crew, we are all with you—Godspeed, Minerva.”  
Tessa: “They’re going good!”  
Grissom: “Well, we do have the finest crew—minus one though.” 

With that remark, Grissom glanced at him with a proud grin on his face and John acknowledged it with a smile. He was aware of the looks of awe by the people inside the room. John had never wished for fame; he was just damn proud to bring every single astronaut home alive on every single flight he attended. This feat had earned him a well-deserved promotion to Head of the medical team. It was a wonderful job, but it meant he’d be less needed on the missions. It sure was even more difficult than being up there with flesh and bones to take pulse with. Here, on Earth, he relied on machines, wires, radio waves, sound waves and pulse rates, as they were given by his com screen. A matter of life and death on screen.

John watched the crew’s vital signs on the screen before him. He breathed a sigh of relief when everyone showed normal readings.  
After some time, he asked the tech support for his own screen of Will and then went back to chatting and calming his husband. 

“Ah—I’m so good at keeping you busy am I?”

Will hummed in response. His screen was no longer in front of everyone but connected to John only. The four footage remained on the top of John’s screen.

 _“You’ve always been good at that. Oh and do you know on what else you’re very good at?”_ Will said, slurring his voice.

John grinned at his husband. “Yea? What’s that?”

Will smiled seductively over the screen, _“You’re good at being—loud.”_ John shook his head at the way Will’s voice dropped an octave lower knowing it was only him who could hear it.

He met Will’s gaze and grinned. “I do remember just the other night who was the loudest. Their banter continued, talking about their past and future plans like they always did until the shuttle almost reached the zero-gravity grid.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

_Hoover Mission Control to Minerva: “Minerva—you’re almost at the point of disengagement. Captain Edward, notify when you’re disengaged. Do you copy?”  
Minerva to Mission Control: “Aye, Sir. We’re ready. Micha?—“  
Micha Adams’ voice on the background: “All stats stabl—Cap—Holy shi—”_

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

The screen suddenly turned to black and the com shut down—an ear deafening static echoes throughout the room.  
John’s eyes snapped to his side as the tech assistant started fumbling furiously over the dials in front of him.

“What? Why? What is it? What’s wrong?” John asked frantically.

The tech looked up at him with fear in his eyes. “Sir—I think—“

 _“John!”_ The scream of his name cut over the static startling him.

It was just then that John noticed everyone looking at the screen, the screen that was now showing unusual waves. He looked sharply to the small screen as it changed from black, to grey and the view of the astronauts in the cockpit thrashing carelessly on their seats. He could see Will’s outline but it was blurry.

“Will?” John called to his husband quietly as he clicked his personal channel on and ran to the front, fixing his earpiece. 

Static.

“Will? Can you hear me, love? Answer me. Please.” The please choked in his throat.

No answer.

_Goddamnit._

John sprinted back to his chair clicking the button for the shuttle-wide coverage, growing more restless with every passing second.  
“Minerva, can you hear me? This is the ground control medic, do you copy?”  
Silence.

For three minutes John and those in charge of the flight’s communications tried very hard to contact the shuttle but failed to get any response.

John lowered his head and sighed heavily. He tapped his earpiece and tried again. “Will, this is John. If you can hear this. Please, love, please answer me—“ 

The silence and static that was going on and off the speakers combined with the whole room in a mess of ordering commands, checking stats, and panic made John feel even more anxious.

Once again he tapped his earpiece and talked over his mic via shuttle-wide coverage. “Minerva? We’re currently blind of your status but we’re doing everything we can to get you back, alright? Your vitals are logging on and off. Stay calm. Do you copy?”

When John tried his channel for Will again, he was greeted by more ear-deafening static blasted into his right ear.

“Bloody!—“John threw his earpiece off, switching to a headphone in a hurry. 

He slumped in his chair before issuing an order to the person beside him. “Check on everyone please.” John said.  
The tech nodded. “Yes, Sir—“

Tears started to form in John’s eyes as he thought of the possibilities. 

No. Please. He pleaded to no one. All he could do was blame himself. He should’ve been there. He should’ve joined him. But if this was meant to happen? What kind of battle against fate are they fighting with? 

A gasp from his headset pulled him out of his thoughts. It was a raspy and trembling voice like the owner had inhaled something unpleasant.  
_“J-John…”_

_Will!_

He looked up to the big screen and swallowed as he sees the cabin footage blinking from static grey to black to white. Finally Will’s face lit up large on the screen. Just as Will showed up, the readings of the astronauts’ vital signs plummeted. John and the other assistant meds tried desperately to stabilize the oxygen supply from the crew’s spacesuits to the life support system of the cabin.

Behind Will, John could see an astronaut lying on his side. The back of his head was towards the camera. John glanced at the vital signs screen again; Lewis’ was almost a flat line. John bowed his head and tried to compose himself before looking up again.

“Hey love,” He replied with an unsure smile—tears were threatening to fall from his eyes.

Will looked a little lost as he moved his hands towards the camera. Then the image blurred and John unconsciously reached out a hand. 

“Hey, you’re going to be alright—love. We’re doing everything we can. I NEED you, Will. Stay calm. Please stay calm for me, love. Please.”

But it was Will’s next words that the realisation of what was happening dawned on him. 

_“I can’t see you—John?”_ He heard him say. And just like that John felt the ground crumbling beneath him. He bit back the tears as he fisted a knuckle against his mouth trying to calm himself and clear his head. He needed to be strong for Will.

And then the static was back again. Will couldn’t seem to hear it on their side as he continued to talk about their situation. 

_“I can barely hear you. Coms—down… Edwards—doing the—what—can—John?—hear…”_

John nodded unconsciously, even if he knew Will couldn’t see him.

“Right. Uh—Thomas?” John glanced to his side to the tech assistant he was talking to earlier. 

The tech nodded understanding what John meant. “I could try, Sir… But I don’t know how long you’ll be able to—“ 

John cut Thomas off with a terse nod and the tech sighed heavily as he reached out a hand in front of him typing commands onto his own computer. 

John walked back to his chair and waited. After a minute, a screen showed up with Will still talking bit by bit, his signal getting weaker.

 _“Remember—Mom—died,”_ Will continued, as if he knew John was listening. His voice was now severely affected by the static. 

John breathed in before answering. “Yea? Yea, love, I remember. Why?”

_“The cold feet never left me. But when I—met—you. It vanished.”_

The low humming began again. 

_"J-John. . .? Can—hear. . ."_

John pushed the receiver harder against his ear.

“I can hear you love, keep talking. I hear you. I'm here, Will. I'm here." John said in a reassuring voice. But still he's feeling helpless. He's feeling useless. Will was slipping away from him in every second that passes.

 _“John—I don’t think—“_ Will said, his voice becoming a broken set of records.

_Oh, God… don’t. Please._

“Thomas!” John shouted.

He got up from his chair almost toppling the swivel to the floor. “William? Are you there? Please, love—say my name—”  
John glanced at the tech assistant while the kid fumbled frantically with the dials, and with his voice shaking, he looks up at John. “Sir—it’s gone—I couldn’t find his signal anymore.”

John closed his eyes as tears started to well up from his eyes. “Jesus…”

Thomas looks down, defeated. “I’m so sorry, Sir—“

His chest ached, as if his heart was being ripped out of him. His soul was being extracted from his body. He felt his head throbbing. He wanted to run to Will, hold him in his arms and tell him over and over and over again how much he loves him—worship him like he always does, touch him like there’s no tomorrow. Kiss him like it’ll be the last.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

_”Somebody! For god’s sake!”_

_“What is happening up there—“_

_“Kelly, the reports!”_

_”Ford, Can you check the coms now?”_

And that’s when John hears it.

_”Grissom! Put the Air Force on the line—dammit!”_

_”Yes, Sir!”_

A soft whisper of his name from that deep baritone voice he always loved.

_(Minerva) ”Minerva—HMC—Edwards—Copy?”_

_”Go ahead, Louie—we’re here.”_

A greeting in the morning and a murmur while he’s asleep.

_(Minerva) ”Tim—we’re breaking,”_

_“Hang in there, Captain—“_

_(Minerva) “I’m sorry—I don’t know—wrong—“_

A calmness overthrowing his delirious state.

_“For God’s sake! We’ll just try and bring them back down safely—the air force CAN do that—”_

A memory that will carve itself to his being.

_“Tim, they’re almost OUT there—“_

_“So what now—?”_

_(Minerva) “The cab—break—burning—flames—all—us”_

_”Dear, God—“_

And the last time he will hear it.

**”I love you—much. John—I—love—Always.”**

The sound of static vanished and all of the screens fade to black and was now replaced by a deafening silence. And as John looked down at his computer screen, to the live coverage of Minerva's flight—what was left of the shuttle are now falling from the sky. And with it John’s world falls.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**_Daily Space News Web  
HEADLINES: Wed, July 22, 2048_ **

_[The crew of Minerva tragically perished as the shuttle exploded upon reaching their disengagement point above Earth on the morning of July 19, 2048 at exactly ten in the morning. The shuttle Minerva 4 was supposed to land on Mars, on a two month period journey. Its mission was unlike the other Minerva shuttles 1-3; Minerva 4 was set to land and gather more information about the rocky cliffs and dusty surroundings of the red planet._

_In its fourth time in space after its historical orbiting success for the past years, Project Minerva brought home the news of living capabilities from the planet which caused the unyielding support of other countries for added explorations. Issues such as the rockets used and even the shuttles are being investigated._

_Further investigations are still happening at the moment and will continue in the following weeks. The day of mourning was declared tomorrow. We offer our condolences to the families of our unsung heroes._

_The four casualties are (Pilot) Captain Louie F. Edwards, Chance P. Lewis (medic), Michaela S. Adams (Co-Pilot/Engineer) and William Sherlock Scott Holmes-Watson (Chemist).  
The explosion of Minerva filled the nation with sorrow once again as the past explorations that ended tragically. The memorial service will be held at Riverdale National Space and Science Institute, Hall 3 tomorrow at eight in the morning.]_

John closed his laptop and slept the whole day.

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**  
**  
_September 8, 2050_  


He was lying on a blanket. 

John opened his eyes and blinked at the familiar darkness. 

He got up from his sleeping bag and pulled on his clothes. He stretched his aching limbs and stepped out of his tent—a tumbler in one hand and Will’s favourite scarf in the other. He snaked the scarf around his neck feeling its soft fabric. It no longer smelled like Will but it’ll do. 

After finishing his tea, he laid a blanket on the grassy ground, laid down on his back and looked up at the stars.

John smiled tearfully as memories of the day of Will’s last mission flight came rolling back on him like an eighteen wheeler truck. He refused to remember how Will _died._ So he focused on the day and years before. Will’s voice when they first met, Will’s voice when they made love, Will’s voice when they had arguments. Will’s voice when he said _‘I do.’_ Will’s voice when he said _‘I love you, John’._ And Will’s voice, the last time he said it to him. 

On the day that Minerva’s debris was gathered, it was burned and the ashes were scattered to space. But John insisted on having what have been identified as what's left of his husband’s belongings. It was cremated and scattered here. Here in this familiar place where he had proposed to Will, where Will had been in tears as he said Yes—

John may never know the details of how his beloved was taken away from him since he retired after that tragic day. Now he chose to live the rest of his life in this place. And although no one blamed him, the guilt and sorrow was still fresh as a newly opened wound. But what kept him going on all these years was the reminder that they had spent every single day of their lives leading up to that tragic moment loving each other. 

And that on this field, under the starry skies of Alaska, they were united, as they exchanged their vows. They will be forever with each other. And as Will believed, John would too. Will was forever with him, among the stars.

He wiped a hand across his tear-streaked face and reached up the other, palm up, to the river of stars above him and whispered, _William Holmes-Watson, I love you too, always—to the stars and back._

**Author's Note:**

> I love the _Space_. When I was a child, I dreamt of being able to travel to space. To be a spacewoman, or an astronaut, or someone who sits behind a huge screen to watch the countdown end and this huge rocketship lift off from the ground. Then the movie 'Armageddon' premiered. And I was even more hooked. The angst, the love of a father to his daughter, the thrill in saving the world by giving up your own life—then there's the theme song. The idea came to me after I've read the first chapters posted, and then the song, 'I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing' played on my mind—and I was like, "Oh my god. I have to write this!" —tada! This work was born. So really, a huge thank you to the film and its theme song. 
> 
> And hey, this wouldn't be possible of course, without ell's hardwork and the inspiration she gave me. The tolerance to my demands and my headache-causing grammar. Thank you, ell—I never thought someone would want to beta an MCD. And this was the death of one of her AU character by the way— Like seriously? Why? And then there's the answer you gave me, "We love to be in pain." which I guess was true. 
> 
> And lastly, to you silent readers and my few subscribers. Your comments and kudos are all appreciated more than I appreciate my self—I love you all. Thank you so much! <3
> 
> Surreal, indeed.


End file.
